This is the time of year where most of us procrastinators go into a “tizzy” (to quote Ricky Ricardo) about things not accomplished before the New Year sets upon us. And if you’re like me, you go into a mega tizzy. Why? Because we are big picture type of people (not narrow minded like those pricks only worrying about their New Years Weight Resolution, pfft), we think larger scale: WTH have I been doing with my entire life?
For those of you that do not know, I turned 30 this year…and I’m exactly where I dreaded I would be at 15 : way too close to freaking home. And as a result, I vowed to myself in September (the month of the Holy Holiday known as my birthday) that I would do more with my life. Such as travel and/or buy that house 5,000 miles away from my closest relative. And here I am, almost January, and none of those things have happened. I’m a 3 month failure. Sigh.
What really bothers me here is: 15 year old me and her list of expectations. If she hadn’t been such an overachiever without the inside scoop that our lives would peak at 26 (with life trampling all over us from ages 26 1/2 -29), I wouldn’t be in this predicament of trying to half-ass my way to achieving a gloriously rich fulfilling life. Ugggh, teens! I hate them.
But enough hating on 15 year old me, she was stupid…pretty…but stupid. Let’s just move on and decide to be solution driven about my problem: giving meaning to my life through travel and materialistic possessions… cheaply. I’m on a budget here, I’m a union organizer (a.k.a poor)… and France, India, Russia, Louboutins, Chanel, and a castle in Spain (which I will name Casa de Beautiful People) are not cheap.
My first instinct to solve this dilemma was to marry some rich old man on his death bed, ready to sign his fortune over to his new pretty and young wife ala Nicole Smith (R.I.P). However, with my luck he probably would have some greedy ass children with fancy lawyers that would prevent me from being happy with some dead man’s money.
My second thought was to change careers to one that offered mo’ money. But that would require work….I’m lazy.
Third, I thought about taking out a bunch of credit and buying myself some happiness. But then I remembered I did that when I was 20, when I thought happiness was an education.
Fourth, I contemplated robbing a bank. But again that requires work and I’m lazy. Besides, I have no confidence in my ability to RUN away from the police… Prison Orange is not my color.
Fifth…. become a Traveling Gypsy. I still have not talked myself out of this one. Have you seen their wedding gowns? It has Cyn written all over it.
Although, I’m not quite sure of the course of action I’m taking to give meaning to my life. I am sure that I am moving towards accomplishment. I’m done pondering about how cute I would look like wearing my Chanel coat and fur lined Louboutin boots in Russia, as I boast to the commoners about my vacation castle in Spain. I’m ready to experience it.
Before I leave you, I wanted to give you an inside scoop into what my European look would look like:
Categorised as: Life Crisis