Lately, I have been feeling like my life is kind of blah. As in: nothing uh-mazing or horrible has happened. And although I have moved across country, uprooted my whole entire life, and underwent huge life changes,everything went smooth…. how boring is that?
In other words I have nothing to talk about. So I have decided to create a fake love affair. Because at the very least…. I can create some fake drama to tell you.( I swear I envy the relationship sluts of the blogging world… they always have something to write about… us prudes rarely have topics worth posting in the blog world, unless it’s about how horrible our cats are treating us. Sigh).
Anyways, in coming up with this fake love affair, I have decided to start from the beginning. Meaning I have to take you through the journey of being single in the city ( ala Carrie Bradshaw) to fatefully being rescued from a fire I started by leaving my curling iron on by new boyfriend, the fireman. Therefore,I am going to give you the 800 things on my list that my dream man must have in order for him to be my prince charming. In case you are not aware every crazy-boyfriendless-broad has a list… it’s what you do in your spare time while petting your disgruntled cat.
Here is my list. I share this with you, because I need you to know I take this being single thing seriously.
Things My Husband Will Be ( Because yes… delusional girls really label their lists like this)
3. Really Really Really Good Looking.
4-800 Rich, good looking, and dumb.
See, I’m not really asking for much. I don’t understand why I am still single.
I am labeling this post under the I am going man free for 6 months or until I get man that meets everything on this list… because that is what single girls do when they’re single. They talk about how they don’t want to be in a relationship because they are working on themselves as they add a hundred things to their Husband List. My next post will be about how surprised I am that I found a man when I wasn’t looking, and subsequently make you want to throw up as I talk about how I’m already planning my wedding on Pinterest.